The devil is trying to convince you that you lost your salvation, your fellowship with God, and for you to kill yourself.
Sometimes the deepest pain is from mere thoughts we entertain.
Trust JESUS with your sin and entrust to JESUS your entire life.
Many fail not because they have fallen but because they feel like a failure.
Many despair not because they are hopelessly beyond God's mercy and grace but because they feel hopeless.
Many become lost because they found the truth but found none or few others walking in truth and therefore felt lost.
Who's voice are you listening to? Who's voice do you follow? Who's words do you trust?
JESUS said, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them to me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand" (John 10:27-29).
JESUS said, "All that the Father gives me shall come to me; and him that comes to me I will in no wise cast out" (John 6:37).
JESUS said, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved" (John 3:16-17).
Likewise, JESUS said, "Enter in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leads to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leads unto life, and few there be that find it" (Matthew 7:13-14).
JESUS said, "If you continue in my word, then are you my disciples indeed; And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free" (John 8:31-32).
CONTINUE IN HIS WORD. Look at Him, not yourself. Behold His grace and truth. Walking hand in hand with JESUS is holding hands with grace and truth.
Unfortunately, many hold hands with truth but have lost touch with grace. They hold tightly, with all their hearts to truth but despair when it slips through their hands at times because they lost touch with grace or never knew what true grace was.
Conversely, many hold tight to grace, with all their hearts but imagine themselves to be one of those few walking the narrow way to life eternal while coasting down the broad way to destruction because they have lost touch with truth, or never really knew the truth.
But JESUS CHRIST came full of grace and truth.
To have Him is to have all of Him.
The truth will set you free.
The truth about grace and the truth about holiness.
Still others want to kill themselves because they fear that they lost their salvation. Who told you that you were not saved? Who told you that there was no hope? Does your life declare this to you or does fear?
JESUS said, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life" (John 5:24).
The apostle John said, "We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the brethren. He that loves not his brother abides in death" (1 John 3:14).
"Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loves is born of God, and knows God. He that loves not knows not God; for God is love" (1 John 4:7-8).
Fear will get you to doubt your salvation or convince you that you lost it based upon suggestions, past failures or other ideas.
Fear wants you consumed with yourself. Self focused.
Fear wants you so consumed with yourself that you are impatient, rude, easily provoked, and restless from constant self examination.
Fear God, not fear. Fear God, not losing your salvation. The fear of God is a fountain of life, saving one from the snares of death, while fear of losing your salvation focuses you on yourself.
Evidently, there is a time to "make your calling and election sure" (2 Peter 1:10) and to "take heed to yourself and to your doctrine" (1 Timothy 4:16) but be more concerned with losing fellowship with God than losing your salvation. He is your salvation. What do you have if you lost Him?
Go to Him.
The Psalmist said, "If You, Lord, should mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with You, that You may be feared. I wait for the Lord, my soul does wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning" (Psalm 130:3-6).
The fear of the Lord is clean . . . It refreshes the soul because it brings the manifest presence of God. The fear of losing your salvation weakens your will, corrupts your efforts, makes you restless, irritable and leads to many other harmful behaviors.
Read the words of JESUS. Read of the life of JESUS. Behold His grace and truth and become changed. He will turn your shame into glory, your pain into power, your failure into freedom.
Read the words and life of JESUS with a sincere desire to follow in His steps. Accept whatever you find in Him. Don't try to change Him, let Him change you.
Completely surrender. Completely trust. Completely follow.
If you continue in His words then you are his disciple (John 8:31). He loves His disciples to the very end (John 13:1).